i look back on this whole year and I cant help but feel ashamed of myself… i took for granted the one person i would trade my whole life for now, mistakes cant even sum up the things i’ve done, i had everything i could ever want, and i just tossed it aside because i couldn’t control my damn over thinking, i knew he loved me, and yet i chose to distance myself from him… i chose to believe lies i told myself to keep from getting hurt when in reality i hurt myself
I blamed him for what was really wrong with myself, little did i know at the time how angry i was, i was LOOKING for reasons to mad or sad because of him, i caused problems, it was all me, and yet now im left here alone… missing the life i once had, if i could only try again, i wouldnt make the same mistakes i made before… i thought i was mature and ready to be patient for him, but little did i realize that i was just as immature as ever… i didnt see that to be patient is to love, love takes patience, and that was something i just wasnt ready to understand the actual commitment i should have made… i didnt see just how selfish i was being… i kept focusing on what i thought he was “doing wrong” when it was me… i was the one messing up, i was nothing more than a damn hypocrite
ive probably missed my chance… but if i could id go back appreciate every second i was given to spend happy, id show him exactly how good i could have been…
theres nothing i can do but blame myself for my past mistakes, but i have to let it go for now, hopefully the time will come where a second chance will come a long, but until then ill be trying to get back up and just here… missing him, forever and always
i look back on this whole year and I cant help but feel ashamed of myself… i took for granted the one person i would trade my whole life for now, mistakes cant even sum up the things i’ve done, i had everything i could ever want, and i just tossed it aside because i couldn’t control my damn over…
it wasn’t meant to be
as a bandaid
to the fact
that you never tried
as hard as I did,
you never loved
as hard as I did.
Michelle K., It Wasn’t Meant to Be. (via michellekpoems)
It is you. It is fucking you. I cannot describe it anymore, it is you. You are the only one that I will ever want. I belong with you. You are my home. I look at you, and somehow I can see 50 years from now on the front porch of some old house in the middle of nowhere and we’re together. I need you. You are the only thing that matters. You are my good.
you are not fat
you have fat
you also have fingernails
you are not fingernail
This is something everyone needs to remember.